Care to Join Me for a Night Out?

In the entire country of Georgia, there are only two McDonald's.

I will pause for a minute, so you can catch your breath.

Yes, only 2. In the entire country.

It is actually one of the things I love about Georgia. It is not littered by fast food chains and Starbucks coffee shops. But I digress.

Both McDonald's are located in Tbilisi...which is a far drive for a Georgian who is living outside the city limits and craving a Big Mac. Since it is considered a nice restaurant, people dress up while they dine on their burgers and fries. It is also relatively expensive!

Ronald McDonald speaks everyone's language.

If I ate McDonald's everyday, would I look as beautiful and seductive as she does? I think not.

A bit racy for a tray liner, huh?

Trick or Treat!

I love yearly traditions. I love routines. So, as you can guess, moving across the world kinda threw off all of my carefully constructed routines a bit.

Every Halloween for the last few years, we sat outside with our neighbors and had a big feast while we passed out candy. We brought out chairs, coffee tables, etc....and snuggled in for a night of chatting and commenting on little kid's costumes.

In Georgia, people don't celebrate Halloween. In fact, it is considered sacrilegious by most. At school, we could not do anything Halloween related. Although not the same as our Sweethorn bash, we went to the US Embassy to trick or treat around the offices and play a few games in the lobby. On the actual day of Halloween, we went to a friend of AL's for a party. The kids had a blast.

Here is one of the rooms from the party....they used black light!

Lucas has worn the same Spider-man costume for 2 years now. Not for Halloween, mind you, but just so he could fight all of the evil lurking around our house. The costume started off way too big for him two years ago. Now he doesn't wear anything underneath it in order for it to still fit. I use the term fit loosely...really it is bordering on inappropriate. So when my mom came to visit, she brought another Spider-Man costume. Yeah! So Lucas was a comfortable Spidey for Halloween.

This opened the door for Aidan, who was never allowed to wear the Spider-Man costume. He has a Batman costume, but really, is it as exciting as the Spider-Man costume his brother has been saving the world with for the last two years? Luckily, it fit Aidan and he decided to dress as Spider-Bat. He wore the Spider-Man costume, the Batman cape, and one Spider-Man sock and one Batman sock. The best part about it was his level of pride and confidence as people tried to guess what he was!

Yes, She Saw My....

Day 2 Dr. Visit:

Remember the L-O-N-G conversation about what time I should arrive for my appointment? Remember in the end I was told to come at 9:30? Yeah, well, I should have known better.

The Dr. walked into the clinic at 10:14 -no mention of the time or being late (Georgians are notorious for not keeping to a scheduled time). I walked into the exam room and the first thing she said to me was, "OK, I want to see your cervix."

We have moved up in the world!

I looked around for a gown, and saw nothin'. I waited a few seconds thinking she might leave the room. Instead, she just stood there with this disgusted look on her face as if I was wasting her time by not getting undressed. She finally led me to a bed and handed me feet coverings. I asked her what I should take off and she said everything from the bottom down, but not my socks. So as she watched me, I undressed. I started laughing hysterically when I put on the blue booties because now I had to walk across the room to the exam table half naked, with these ridiculous looking blue booties covering my socks. It struck me as so funny that she insisted I wear booties, but could care less if all else was exposed for "everyone" to see.

I climbed up on the table, still laughing. The Dr. then began to laugh. At one point she shook her head and mumbled something. I think she thought I was crazy. My laughter was quickly silenced when I realized that this exam table was different than American ones. As many of us so fondly know, the stirrups are where we place our feet. Here in Georgia, however, the stirrups go behind the back of your knee. As a result, your tush is completely elevated off of the table. I tried not to be self conscious as the Dr. continued to laugh.

Is that a Diet Coke on the exam tray?

Once that was complete, the Dr. chatted with me as I got dressed (a bit awkward, I might add) and then walked me to the ultrasound room (she decided she wanted an ultrasound of my thyroid).

I entered the ultrasound room and there were 2 women in there. One of them looked at me and said, "strip." Silly me, glanced around for a gown and automatically waited again for them to leave the room. No one made a move, so I just started taking off clothes. Once I was undressed, one of the women moved me around the bed about 100 times. The tech then emptied about half a tube of the ultrasound gel all over my chest and neck. As she was working her magic with the wand, I heard the door open and a man walked in. At this point my back was to him, so I was only a bit flustered. He then walked towards me and stood in front of me, talking to the ultrasound tech.

Really?

Since I was half naked, I tried to cover up with my arms, but just ended up getting cold gel everywhere! I think I uttered something in a panicked state and the man just looked at me blankly and muttered, "It is OK, I am a Dr." He continued the conversation with the tech and then walked out. Oh, how I wished I had a gown. At least then I could have used it to wipe up all of the blue goop that was now on my chest, neck, face, and arms. Ugh.

Luckily, nothing exciting happened at the blood draw. It has been five days and I am still waiting on my results. When I called the Dr. on Tuesday, she told me I should come in to see her. When I asked if she had my results yet, she said no. Did she just want to have lunch with me? Maybe see my uterus? I didn't negotiate, argue, or try to understand...I just told her that I would wait to see her until she had all of my blood tests back.

Wonder how long that will take? If it goes past 2 weeks, I may try to bribe her. A peek at my fallopian tubes for my test results. Think it will work?

You'll See My What Tomorrow???

PARENTAL ADVISORY: The post you are about to read contains mature content that may not be suitable for all audiences. You must be at least 18 years of age to continue reading and you must agree that you are not offended by mature content. If you enjoy mature content, keep reading!

The other day was the first time I visited a Dr. here in Tbilisi....I wanted some lab tests done because I think my thyroid meds need to be adjusted. Little did I know what was in store for me!

I entered the clinic, which was a beautiful center. I walked over to the reception counter and told one of the three women sitting behind the big desk I was here for my appointment. She did some fancy moves on her computer and took my ID. She told me to step to the woman to her left, so I slid my stuff down the counter and waited while this new receptionist wrote up a receipt for me. This new woman then told me to go to the woman at the far end of the counter to pay. I wanted so badly to comment on how they could streamline this process, but I didn't. Instead, I quietly paid my 50 Lari ($28) for my consultation.

This was the reception desk--you can see how silly I probably looked shuffling back and forth between these three women.

After about a five minute wait, the doctor (gyn.) came out to greet me. She took me to her office which has a desk and all of the accoutrements of an exam room.

When I scheduled my appointment, I asked for an English speaking doctor, so luckily her English was pretty good. She began by asking me about my history...all of the normal stuff-- age, how many pregnancies, etc... Then the conversation took an interesting turn. Here is how it went:

Dr.: What sexually transmitted diseases have you had (positive assumptions!)?

Me: None.

Dr: None? (please note the shocked tone) What about ____________ or ______________ (I had never even heard of these, so I can't even remember their names)

Me: I shake my head and say none (again).

Dr: Not even chlamydia?

Me: (now I am starting to doubt myself...can she see something I don't know about? Do I have some special mark just under my left eye that all Georgian doctors understand means your stricken with chlamydia?) I find myself stammering...um, no....nothing.....I think...I mean.....

Dr: Are you sure?

Me: Yes? I think I'm sure.

Dr: Wow.

Me: Wow?

Dr: Yes.

I feel a little off kilter by this conversation, but am ready to continue. All I want is lab work done, so I can tweak my medication if necessary. She then proceeds to tell me she needs to do an ultrasound of my vagina. I am here for my thyroid. How in the world will an ultrasound of my vagina give her the information we need? We go round and round...although she speaks English it is not the same as speaking to someone who is a native English speaker.

Finally, I agree to the examination. Sometimes it is just easier to get a pelvic exam than to continue a conversation. She tells me to get undressed. I ask to use the restroom before she begins. She looks at me and says, "Maybe you should come back tomorrow." I tell her I can go to the bathroom quickly and really it is in her best interest to allow me these few minutes. She shakes her head and our conversation continues:

Dr: Well, you should just come tomorrow and then we can do your blood work too. It is better to do it in the morning.

Me: So, I should be fasting?

Dr: Yes, I think that would be better. Do you have time tomorrow?

Me: (running through all that I would rather be doing tomorrow) sure, I can come tomorrow.

Dr: OK, how about 9 or 10?

Me: 9 would be great. I wake up around 6, so the earlier the better.

Dr: Or maybe 10?

Me: Oh, OK do you need me to come at 10?

Dr: Or you could come at 9.

Me: OK, I will come at 9.

Dr: OK, so you will come at 9 or 10 tomorrow.

Me: (in my head: AAAAHHHH!) Would you like me to come at 9 or 1o?

Dr: I think it doesn't matter- 9 or 10.

Me: Then I will come at 9.

The Dr. then walked me back to the reception desk and said, "So you will come at 9:30 tomorrow." I just nodded, completely dumbfounded, hoping that our interaction the next day would be less confusing. Then, instead of a standard handshake and goodbye, the Dr. nonchalantly said, "OK, I will see your vagina tomorrow." I am not sure what the appropriate response to that is--somehow "I will see your vagina tomorrow" just didn't feel right. I looked at her and then glanced at the 3 other people sitting within ear shot and nodded again.

Hanging Out with Omi

Here are some pictures from when my mom was here last week! We were in Vake Park, which is about 2 blocks from our apartment.